








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6897 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4631 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2557 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3181 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $241,415 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breakfastpasta | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | zzz | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | PollyThePercPopper | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breakfastpasta | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | zzz | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | PollyThePercPopper | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzz | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | breakfastpasta | 5 | 0.0258 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzz | 111 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | breakfastpasta | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | PollyThePercPopper | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piss | +1.07 | 58 | 70 |
| #2 | zzz | -0.23 | 42 | 52 |
| #3 | PollyThePercPopper | -0.24 | 40 | 23 |
| #4 | breakfastpasta | -1.36 | 45 | 30 |





