










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24 | 8% |
| Smokes | 17 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 180 | 59% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $107,511 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dizzle | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | /Frail | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Broooks | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | John Counterstrike | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Apple | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /Frail | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | John Counterstrike | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Jimmy Jigglepeek | 1 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | Apple | 1 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Counterstrike | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Broooks | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | /Frail | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dizzle | 6 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jimmy Jigglepeek | 5 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /Frail | +1.33 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Broooks | +0.85 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | [ᾼғτᴇʀ] fAilOr | +0.73 | 79 | 16 |
| #4 | Apple | +0.28 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | PixelMan | -0.20 | 62 | 40 |





