








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 328 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4988 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2962 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4543 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4292 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,652,896 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John F. Comedy | 56% | 89 |
| #2 | reo | 54% | 127 |
| #3 | The Fiend | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Goomer | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | Jocth | 46% | 441 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John F. Comedy | +5.62 | 75 | 21 |
| #2 | reo | +2.10 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | Goomer | +1.00 | 28 | 48 |
| #4 | oozin for a bruisin | +0.88 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | Jocth | +0.72 | 67 | 52 |





