








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 552 | 27% |
| Smokes | 453 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 592 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 448 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,910 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XD | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | lemon | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Suiki | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Mutt | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | mong | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XD | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | lemon | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Suiki | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Mutt | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | mong | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mutt | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Suiki | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mong | 154 | 0.38 | 4 min |
| #2 | XD | 27 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mutt | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Suiki | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | lemon | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XD | +3.87 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Mutt | +3.60 | 61 | 51 |
| #3 | lemon | +3.45 | 85 | 29 |
| #4 | MEhb | +1.63 | 55 | 54 |
| #5 | Suiki | -0.40 | 48 | 44 |





