








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3737 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3924 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2916 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1786 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,081 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 569 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MyLord,TheSkyIsSoBeautiful! | 79% | 34 |
| #2 | Stefano | 78% | 37 |
| #3 | Mystery | 76% | 42 |
| #4 | landocalrissian | 75% | 20 |
| #5 | whoops | 68% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOOD JUJU | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Mystery | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Dr. Gruesome | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | whoops | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | MyLord,TheSkyIsSoBeautiful! | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeltzT | 181 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mystery | 158 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | MyLord,TheSkyIsSoBeautiful! | 139 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | GOOD JUJU | 135 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | whoops | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mystery | +3.21 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | ZManFan | +1.98 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | GOOD JUJU | +1.81 | 76 | 53 |
| #4 | 二次元的八酱 | +1.74 | 72 | 38 |
| #5 | whoops | +1.21 | 79 | 56 |





