








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 855 | 28% |
| Smokes | 654 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 593 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,239 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yovake Just Better | 48% | 93 |
| #2 | bram | 47% | 99 |
| #3 | eyymiel | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Xeltiic | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yovake Just Better | 48% | 93 |
| #2 | bram | 47% | 99 |
| #3 | eyymiel | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Xeltiic | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bram | 33 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | Yovake Just Better | 20 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Xeltiic | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | eyymiel | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bram | 299 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Yovake Just Better | 218 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Xeltiic | 97 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | eyymiel | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yovake Just Better | +1.51 | 62 | 63 |
| #2 | eyymiel | +0.97 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | bram | +0.69 | 70 | 58 |
| #4 | Loepert | +0.19 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | Xeltiic | -2.15 | 69 | 63 |





