








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1094 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1027 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1653 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,634 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lali panzeru | 32 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | dragosh | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | serifubos | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Canaz | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Jianowsky | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lali panzeru | 400 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Canaz | 223 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | serifubos | 131 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | toto | 130 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jianowsky | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |





