








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 942 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 561 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3303 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4536 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5569 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3389 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,415,367 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eckberdt | 50% | 157 |
| #2 | Hit Me Baby One More Time | 49% | 401 |
| #3 | Holzi | 49% | 465 |
| #4 | Carinchen | 44% | 126 |
| #5 | CenterJeppy | 43% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eckberdt | 50% | 157 |
| #2 | Hit Me Baby One More Time | 49% | 401 |
| #3 | Holzi | 49% | 465 |
| #4 | Carinchen | 44% | 126 |
| #5 | CenterJeppy | 43% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holzi | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Hit Me Baby One More Time | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | CenterJeppy | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Eckberdt | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Carinchen | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hit Me Baby One More Time | 1038 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | Holzi | 828 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #3 | Eckberdt | 325 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | CenterJeppy | 300 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Carinchen | 73 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Snoop Doggy Dogg | +1.70 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | Hit Me Baby One More Time | +0.45 | 71 | 49 |
| #3 | CenterJeppy | +0.19 | 55 | 55 |
| #4 | Holzi | -1.10 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | Eckberdt | -2.69 | 42 | 57 |





