








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 708 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1135 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 673 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1018 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,032 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ssSSs like a snake | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | liesi | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | ylihankkija | 73% | 33 |
| #4 | TheKents | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Diyar | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | manageri. | 67% | 21 |
| #7 | FIN16320 | 63% | 38 |
| #8 | göntsä | 62% | 90 |
| #9 | Noname | 61% | 49 |
| #10 | ExcessiveM | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | göntsä | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | manageri. | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | liesi | 3 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | Diyar | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | göntsä | 301 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | ylihankkija | 151 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | ExcessiveM | 63 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Noname | 57 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | FIN16320 | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liesi | +8.38 | 91 | 56 |
| #2 | göntsä | +2.79 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | TheKents | +2.17 | 53 | 24 |
| #4 | Noname | +0.54 | 82 | 54 |
| #5 | Ne kutsuu mua koiraksi | -0.02 | 79 | 51 |





