








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 155 | 11% |
| Smokes | 167 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 595 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 480 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $82,308 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el tapo | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Virtually_noBitches | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Virtually_Retarded | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | SEVEN YT | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | KennyP | 51% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Virtually_Retarded | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | SEVEN YT | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | KennyP | 51% | 99 |
| #6 | Jakkel playZ YT | 47% | 34 |
| #7 | TriggerHappy | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TriggerHappy | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | KennyP | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | el tapo | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Virtually_Retarded | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Virtually_noBitches | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyP | 282 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | TriggerHappy | 190 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | el tapo | 164 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Virtually_noBitches | 96 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jakkel playZ YT | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Virtually_noBitches | +4.69 | 59 | 60 |
| #2 | el tapo | +2.99 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | Virtually_Retarded | +2.59 | 72 | 43 |
| #4 | SEVEN YT | +1.27 | 37 | 68 |
| #5 | Jakkel playZ YT | -0.21 | 58 | 56 |





