










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1544 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1355 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1081 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,021,219 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PuffPuffNoPass | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | Deja Vu | 50% | 151 |
| #3 | Nortical | 48% | 164 |
| #4 | Hamma | 46% | 102 |
| #5 | jeansRig | 45% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nortical | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Hamma | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | jeansRig | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Deja Vu | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | General Klopapier | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nortical | 742 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | Deja Vu | 269 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hamma | 195 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | PuffPuffNoPass | 139 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | jeansRig | 138 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaym | +1.90 | 87 | 45 |
| #2 | Nortical | +1.26 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | Deja Vu | +0.94 | 89 | 55 |
| #4 | PuffPuffNoPass | -0.34 | 76 | 54 |
| #5 | jeansRig | -1.46 | 49 | 45 |





