










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 32 | 16% |
| Smokes | 54 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 49 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 63 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,225 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | JPxW0lf | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | ziKHAx | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | BlackDragon | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | KingKaldoYT | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | !?C | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ziKHAx | 2 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | !?C | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JPxW0lf | +8.54 | 72 | 28 |
| #2 | ziKHAx | +8.44 | 71 | 28 |
| #3 | KingKaldoYT | +0.41 | 84 | 50 |
| #4 | BlackDragon | +0.39 | 45 | 63 |
| #5 | Furtive [iSlimBag] | -0.25 | 52 | 25 |





