










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 516 | 23% |
| Smokes | 667 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 365 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,351 of utility $316 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | artiest | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | Trickz | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Bbex #070 | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | mintmeister | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | lowbob | 30% | 10 |





