








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 172 | 30% |
| Smokes | 77 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 224 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 108 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,334 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Larry Lobster Spongebob | 35% | 65 |
| #5 | Darryl | 34% | 50 |
| #6 | Gιηsιηg | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | PacketLoss | 26% | 23 |
| #8 | ℃ole | 0% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry Lobster Spongebob | 16 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | PacketLoss | 10 | 0.0226 |
| #3 | Darryl | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Celestial Perc | 6 | 0.0583 |
| #5 | Goblinpeek | Hairy | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry Lobster Spongebob | 178 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Darryl | 109 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Goblinpeek | Hairy | 63 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | PacketLoss | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Celestial Perc | 28 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goblinpeek | Hairy | +3.33 | 69 | 20 |
| #2 | Larry Lobster Spongebob | +1.29 | 78 | 33 |
| #3 | PacketLoss | +1.28 | 30 | 30 |
| #4 | Celestial Perc | +1.16 | 78 | 44 |
| #5 | Darryl | +0.09 | 66 | 32 |





