








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 383 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8553 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5311 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6295 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5973 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,883 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMPULSEdaTANK | 69% | 59 |
| #2 | infeKt | 53% | 156 |
| #3 | ... \.=. ,,, | 51% | 229 |
| #4 | Em^ | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMPULSEdaTANK | 69% | 59 |
| #2 | infeKt | 53% | 156 |
| #3 | ... \.=. ,,, | 51% | 229 |
| #4 | Em^ | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ... \.=. ,,, | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | infeKt | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | IMPULSEdaTANK | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ... \.=. ,,, | 847 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | infeKt | 582 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | IMPULSEdaTANK | 312 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #4 | Em^ | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMPULSEdaTANK | +2.16 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | infeKt | +1.56 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | buckets | +1.53 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | ... \.=. ,,, | +1.21 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | Em^ | -4.04 | 37 | 52 |





