








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 226 | 20% |
| Smokes | 341 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 272 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 265 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,961 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | icy | 4 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Xt[Az]yyy | 3 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | lil gordon | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | π―ππ―ππ―πΎπ― | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Zigiiic | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil gordon | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Zigiiic | 63 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | icy | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Xt[Az]yyy | 36 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | π―ππ―ππ―πΎπ― | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zigiiic | +3.69 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | lil gordon | +0.96 | 66 | 77 |
| #3 | Nexus | +0.68 | 72 | 45 |
| #4 | icy | +0.26 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | π―ππ―ππ―πΎπ― | -0.33 | 52 | 63 |





