








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3733 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2843 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4104 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3500 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,374 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuaZo🍌 | 62% | 97 |
| #2 | akumu | 62% | 81 |
| #3 | ToDo | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | Steakie | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | wi1ly | 51% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ToDo | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | Steakie | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | wi1ly | 51% | 249 |
| #6 | core.bee ;> | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | s0L | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuaZo🍌 | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | wi1ly | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | akumu | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ToDo | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | core.bee ;> | 2 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wi1ly | 934 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | LuaZo🍌 | 281 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | akumu | 184 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ToDo | 70 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | s0L | 64 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tizzy | +1.91 | 69 | 70 |
| #2 | akumu | +1.76 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | Steakie | +0.41 | 80 | 46 |
| #4 | LuaZo🍌 | +0.27 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | wi1ly | -0.10 | 71 | 74 |





