








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 20% |
| Smokes | 399 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 383 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,319 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daffy | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | 09p01 | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | M00N1 | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | ßepis | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Jasper | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | By_Strikez | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | MassiveHog | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | ✪r1k0 | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | ✪BrandoN✪ | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | mazxt1x- | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ßepis | 3 | 0.0280 |
| #2 | Jasper | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | By_Strikez | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | M00N1 | 1 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪BrandoN✪ | 127 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jasper | 66 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪r1k0 | 52 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | By_Strikez | 49 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | MassiveHog | 44 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daffy | +4.44 | 77 | 33 |
| #2 | Jasper | +2.00 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Alex ♛ | +1.71 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | MassiveHog | +0.67 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | 09p01 | +0.05 | 73 | 66 |





