








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4982 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2823 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2512 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3258 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,252 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 50% | 64 |
| #9 | ☁ PotaTom | 47% | 38 |
| #10 | Jet | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | Unversed | 41% | 32 |
| #12 | xDaito * TRADING * | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Unversed | 7 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Dirty Cheter | 7 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | Tthanskis | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Jet | 4 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antonio Juanson | 223 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | kam | 189 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dirty Cheter | 135 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tthanskis | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | +2.38 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Wind Turbine | +1.83 | 70 | 50 |
| #3 | Dirty Cheter | +1.33 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | Tthanskis | +1.03 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Unversed | +0.56 | 77 | 57 |





