








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1010 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2161 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1989 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2667 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1365 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,829 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Veikka | 58% | 115 |
| #5 | Kaakeri | 58% | 107 |
| #6 | ресторан | 56% | 39 |
| #7 | thunderass10 | 55% | 62 |
| #8 | mara877 | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaakeri | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Veikka | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Edi | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | thunderass10 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ресторан | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Veikka | 234 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | thunderass10 | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kaakeri | 159 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Edi | 158 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | mara877 | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |





