








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6991 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3915 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3182 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3444 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,758,140 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeavyD | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Reaper8605 | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | ReaperGP | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | DuNK$$$ | 58% | 72 |
| #5 | Viv1d | 58% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viv1d | 31 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | Minesme | 25 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | DuNK$$$ | 11 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Patrick | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | what colour is your bugatti? | 6 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minesme | 373 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | DuNK$$$ | 314 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Viv1d | 276 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Patrick | 232 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Punchy bag | 217 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viv1d | +5.00 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | Patrick | +3.97 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | HeavyD | +3.97 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | Gully | +2.77 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | ReaperGP | +2.18 | 44 | 27 |





