








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7153 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5364 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4551 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2441 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,137 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 765 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Alec | 65% | 132 |
| #2 | Insub | 63% | 172 |
| #3 | CJ | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | SnowyS | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | Tristina | 51% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Alec | 65% | 132 |
| #2 | Insub | 63% | 172 |
| #3 | CJ | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | SnowyS | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | Tristina | 51% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnowyS | 19 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | Insub | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ⚡Alec | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Tristina | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | CJ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insub | 614 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | ⚡Alec | 232 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | CJ | 199 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tristina | 130 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | SnowyS | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insub | +5.04 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | SnowyS | +4.30 | 85 | 42 |
| #3 | CJ | +3.18 | 85 | 62 |
| #4 | Cod1th | +1.94 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | Tristina | +0.31 | 54 | 58 |





