








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




116 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5750 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7428 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6784 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7173 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,939,041 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BerZerk | 63% | 165 |
| #4 | pharshlaph | 63% | 150 |
| #5 | xelA | 58% | 83 |
| #6 | elggiJ | 56% | 327 |
| #7 | Dove-King | 54% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elggiJ | 101 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | xelA | 23 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | BerZerk | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Dove-King | 13 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | pharshlaph | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BerZerk | +3.56 | 94 | 51 |
| #2 | MattyS | +3.33 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | xelA | +0.69 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | pharshlaph | +0.21 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | elggiJ | +0.13 | 69 | 59 |





