








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2608 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1970 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1846 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $736,769 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aurel1ano | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Bjoolo | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ✪Xing King✪ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | F1ppe | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Arv1d | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Xing King✪ | 140 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Aurel1ano | 123 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | F1ppe | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Arv1d | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bjoolo | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |





