








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 295 | 54% |
| Smokes | 52 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 55 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 140 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,198 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrigmer | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | KЯΛZYKΛƬ | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | MarlKarx | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Illustrious | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | Orti | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MarlKarx | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Illustrious | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | Orti | 40% | 15 |
| #6 | karenina22 | 27% | 15 |
| #7 | Hasenpfote | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Illustrious | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | KЯΛZYKΛƬ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | MarlKarx | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Illustrious | 167 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | KЯΛZYKΛƬ | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Shrigmer | 67 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | MarlKarx | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hasenpfote | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KЯΛZYKΛƬ | +7.22 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | MarlKarx | +3.29 | 79 | 31 |
| #3 | Shrigmer | +1.23 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | Illustrious | -3.27 | 19 | 52 |
| #5 | Schattenkrieger | -3.88 | 17 | 34 |





