








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1388 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1191 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1099 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 893 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,965 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BONES!!!!! | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | DailyToxicity | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | mos | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Blossom | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BONES!!!!! | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | DailyToxicity | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | mos | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Blossom | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mos | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Blossom | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | DailyToxicity | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blossom | 325 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | DailyToxicity | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | mos | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | BONES!!!!! | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DailyToxicity | +4.70 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | mos | +1.85 | 70 | 48 |
| #3 | Smitty | -0.18 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | Blossom | -1.23 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | BONES!!!!! | -4.02 | 39 | 51 |





