










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 634 | 20% |
| Smokes | 861 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1024 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 721 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,763 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diego Mango | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | fredi-kamionka | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | KaszaTriceps | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Br33D | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | monster | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | オレはクソ食いだ | 50% | 34 |
| #9 | You don't know what is five. | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | BALOTELLI | 39% | 31 |
| #11 | BrOKeN skins.army | 36% | 22 |
| #12 | Słodki Jeżyk WWA | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALOTELLI | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | You don't know what is five. | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | monster | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Słodki Jeżyk WWA | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fredi-kamionka | 334 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | monster | 234 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | is the best app | 139 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #4 | Br33D | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | You don't know what is five. | 67 | 0.17 | 3 min |





