








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 520 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3647 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3963 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4493 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3403 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,315,467 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 790 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | 28 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | KEi-J | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Pitbull | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Tolstij Penguin | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | biksisu mednieks | 10 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEi-J | 1007 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #2 | Mikasa | 397 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | efukters | 358 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Pitbull | 259 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | renthal | 200 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | +5.34 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | efukters | +2.06 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | renthal | +0.42 | 88 | 55 |
| #4 | KEi-J | +0.25 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | Pitbull | -0.30 | 60 | 46 |





