








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 780 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2794 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 1352 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 966 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,707 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doge Vandire | 51% | 45 |
| #2 | AlexHDTV720pPNG123abcDVDmp3 | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | Auschwitz | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | ash stretchum | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doge Vandire | 51% | 45 |
| #2 | AlexHDTV720pPNG123abcDVDmp3 | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | Auschwitz | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | ash stretchum | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doge Vandire | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Auschwitz | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | ash stretchum | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doge Vandire | 146 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Auschwitz | 115 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | ash stretchum | 47 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | AlexHDTV720pPNG123abcDVDmp3 | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHDTV720pPNG123abcDVDmp3 | +2.00 | 61 | 37 |
| #2 | Doge Vandire | +0.91 | 62 | 45 |
| #3 | Auschwitz | +0.51 | 59 | 71 |
| #4 | Kingston | -0.38 | 63 | 52 |
| #5 | ash stretchum | -3.27 | 48 | 62 |





