








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1455 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1909 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1787 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2628 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,125,777 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polygonshifter | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 55% | 87 |
| #3 | 斗鱼TV Tom | 54% | 98 |
| #4 | Jame | 52% | 234 |
| #5 | tabseN | 52% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 斗鱼TV Tom | 54% | 98 |
| #4 | Jame | 52% | 234 |
| #5 | tabseN | 52% | 217 |
| #6 | ALEKESY | 51% | 211 |
| #7 | skinny ass | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALEKESY | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Jame | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | tabseN | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALEKESY | 1109 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | Jame | 773 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | tabseN | 581 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | 斗鱼TV Tom | 281 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 113 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | +1.92 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Jame | +1.22 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | polygonshifter | +0.88 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | ALEKESY | +0.75 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | tabseN | +0.56 | 68 | 75 |





