








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1534 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1345 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1568 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,169,209 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Grindified | 53% | 75 |
| #6 | Jswack | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | NahtE | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | Grindi | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | BeastingBeauty | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grindified | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | FluffyBullets | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | NahtE | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Grindi | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | senslow12 | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grindified | 314 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | FluffyBullets | 179 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Grindi | 69 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | senslow12 | 65 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | NahtE | 52 | 0.11 | 2 min |





