








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 617 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1054 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 885 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 810 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,404 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olek2q | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | flapsonni | 44% | 105 |
| #3 | GZuziNiO:3 | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olek2q | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | flapsonni | 44% | 105 |
| #3 | GZuziNiO:3 | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GZuziNiO:3 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flapsonni | 238 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | GZuziNiO:3 | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Olek2q | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flapsonni | +1.64 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | F1reHydra | +0.26 | 72 | 47 |
| #3 | GZuziNiO:3 | -1.35 | 66 | 48 |
| #4 | Olek2q | -2.71 | 29 | 49 |





