








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4293 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5426 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4288 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3371 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,645,160 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slick | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | DEFAULT | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | convict | 55% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slick | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | DEFAULT | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | convict | 55% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | convict | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | DEFAULT | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | slick | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | convict | 176 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | DEFAULT | 149 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | slick | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | convict | +4.91 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | DEFAULT | +2.55 | 90 | 76 |
| #3 | slick | +0.69 | 76 | 37 |
| #4 | Gru | -0.09 | 59 | 56 |





