








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 435 | 22% |
| Smokes | 607 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 696 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 203 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,157 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vict0ry | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | Shababs the Drilla | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | Bub | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Vio | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vict0ry | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | Shababs the Drilla | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | Bub | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Vio | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shababs the Drilla | 9 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Vict0ry | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Vio | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Bub | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vio | 124 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | Shababs the Drilla | 91 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Vict0ry | 68 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bub | 21 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shababs the Drilla | +3.07 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | Vict0ry | +1.01 | 61 | 47 |
| #3 | Dünnschissm8 | +0.44 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | Vio | -1.86 | 45 | 49 |
| #5 | Bub | -3.25 | 61 | 41 |





