








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 701 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1214 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1006 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,192,971 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duck | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | Elmo The FireMaster | 73% | 33 |
| #3 | tomk | 55% | 124 |
| #4 | CSGOD | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duck | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | Elmo The FireMaster | 73% | 33 |
| #3 | tomk | 55% | 124 |
| #4 | CSGOD | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomk | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Elmo The FireMaster | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | CSGOD | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomk | 269 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Duck | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | CSGOD | 57 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elmo The FireMaster | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomk | +3.16 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | CSGOD | -0.05 | 61 | 74 |
| #3 | cow go moo | -0.14 | 71 | 43 |
| #4 | Duck | -1.89 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | Elmo The FireMaster | -3.77 | 30 | 39 |





