








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2194 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1804 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2063 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1824 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,693 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReAcTe | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Sasse | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Nyxe | 55% | 159 |
| #4 | Isablvck | 52% | 131 |
| #5 | Issues-GT- | 50% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sasse | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Nyxe | 55% | 159 |
| #4 | Isablvck | 52% | 131 |
| #5 | Issues-GT- | 50% | 128 |
| #6 | Ibliz | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Issues-GT- | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Nyxe | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Isablvck | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Ibliz | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Sasse | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyxe | 887 | 0.27 | 25 min |
| #2 | Isablvck | 247 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ibliz | 207 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Issues-GT- | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sasse | 57 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Issues-GT- | +2.15 | 59 | 44 |
| #2 | Sasse | +1.76 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | Nyxe | +0.83 | 88 | 61 |
| #4 | Siqrize | +0.75 | 78 | 72 |
| #5 | Ibliz | +0.22 | 80 | 72 |





