








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3105 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3489 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2451 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1800 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $900,928 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 665 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ABDUL | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Nero | 52% | 153 |
| #3 | Bawaa | 51% | 237 |
| #4 | Nero | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Punisher_007 | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nero | 52% | 153 |
| #3 | Bawaa | 51% | 237 |
| #4 | Nero | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Punisher_007 | 44% | 45 |
| #6 | Mr.S | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bawaa | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Nero | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Mr.S | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Nero | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Punisher_007 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nero | 704 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Bawaa | 573 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Punisher_007 | 138 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mr.S | 133 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nero | 124 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ABDUL | +2.52 | 62 | 57 |
| #2 | Nero | +1.82 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | Nero | +1.50 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | Dr.Damn | +1.36 | 61 | 68 |
| #5 | Punisher_007 | -0.05 | 58 | 65 |





