








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1044 | 35% |
| Smokes | 605 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 414 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,876 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReKon | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Jordaim | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | RB | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Dr Nefario | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReKon | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Jordaim | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | RB | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Dr Nefario | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordaim | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | RB | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ReKon | 5 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | Dr Nefario | 3 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RB | 198 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jordaim | 145 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | ReKon | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dr Nefario | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RB | +1.56 | 96 | 53 |
| #2 | Jordaim | +0.85 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | Isdoram | -0.19 | 69 | 41 |
| #4 | ReKon | -0.65 | 42 | 52 |
| #5 | Dr Nefario | -3.67 | 50 | 40 |





