








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6359 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6527 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4558 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5218 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,598,505 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DroolingOnU | 51% | 140 |
| #2 | ollie | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Lil Milk | 45% | 404 |
| #4 | The Bee Keeper♡ | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | DAST | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DroolingOnU | 51% | 140 |
| #2 | ollie | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Lil Milk | 45% | 404 |
| #4 | The Bee Keeper♡ | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | DAST | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Milk | 39 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ollie | 12 | 0.0205 |
| #3 | DroolingOnU | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | The Bee Keeper♡ | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | DAST | 8 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Bee Keeper♡ | 426 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | DroolingOnU | 245 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lil Milk | 176 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #4 | ollie | 110 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | DAST | 101 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | You Like My Shotgun | +4.44 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | ollie | +2.13 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | DAST | -0.06 | 61 | 36 |
| #4 | The Bee Keeper♡ | -1.02 | 37 | 52 |
| #5 | DroolingOnU | -1.36 | 29 | 50 |





