








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 831 | 26% |
| Smokes | 604 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 918 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 793 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,115 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToobZ | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Bairdii | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Caspar das Schlossgespenst | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | MassiBic3ps | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | simon_pedersen | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Caspar das Schlossgespenst | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | MassiBic3ps | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | simon_pedersen | 39% | 46 |
| #6 | Smut | 25% | 4 |
| #7 | Rawey | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simon_pedersen | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Rawey | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simon_pedersen | 207 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Caspar das Schlossgespenst | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rawey | 12 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | ToobZ | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | MassiBic3ps | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToobZ | +1.53 | 72 | 78 |
| #2 | Smut | +1.37 | 82 | 29 |
| #3 | SebCooperCamden | +1.34 | 62 | 61 |
| #4 | Caspar das Schlossgespenst | +0.94 | 69 | 52 |
| #5 | Bairdii | +0.17 | 84 | 47 |





