








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 806 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3282 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2656 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1958 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1371 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,354,647 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1934 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zz | 62% | 69 |
| #2 | El0y Huesitos | 57% | 84 |
| #3 | SALGOAT | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | -N3X | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | invisiblator | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | invisiblator | 48% | 124 |
| #6 | empotrador | 47% | 43 |
| #7 | D E V 1 L | 45% | 44 |
| #8 | Jal | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | GAMUSINO ILLUMINATI | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D E V 1 L | 10 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | invisiblator | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | zz | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | El0y Huesitos | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | empotrador | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | invisiblator | 371 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | D E V 1 L | 207 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | empotrador | 140 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jal | 134 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | zz | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zz | +1.54 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | D E V 1 L | +1.33 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | invisiblator | +1.03 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | -N3X | +1.00 | 67 | 54 |
| #5 | Jal | +0.17 | 77 | 66 |





