








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 858 | 19% |
| Smokes | 779 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1581 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1320 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $978,951 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nebukat ツ | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Taube | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | -=JaBo=- | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | FREAQ' ;7 | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Vossman | 50% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vossman | 635 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Succi | 139 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | -=JaBo=- | 90 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | Taube | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | malibuar | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -=JaBo=- | +3.23 | 37 | 76 |
| #2 | Taube | +2.87 | 62 | 63 |
| #3 | FREAQ' ;7 | +2.79 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | thai | +2.68 | 35 | 37 |
| #5 | Hellus | +1.75 | 41 | 76 |





