








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2125 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1979 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2655 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1887 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,525 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JediFerkel | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | El Obeso | 52% | 84 |
| #3 | DannydeVito | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | El Yhuso | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | ❤ AluFolie ❤ | 46% | 271 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤ AluFolie ❤ | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | El Yhuso | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | JediFerkel | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | El Obeso | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | DannydeVito | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤ AluFolie ❤ | 691 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | JediFerkel | 187 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | El Yhuso | 138 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | El Obeso | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | DannydeVito | 53 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JediFerkel | +1.32 | 54 | 61 |
| #2 | ❤ AluFolie ❤ | +0.52 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | Slim Reaper | +0.26 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | DannydeVito | +0.07 | 61 | 55 |
| #5 | El Obeso | -1.77 | 46 | 52 |





