








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2984 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2578 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2721 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,202,014 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ätzend | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | JimDunkelBaum | 47% | 107 |
| #3 | sry im stoned | 45% | 74 |
| #4 | Punkattack1312 | 42% | 105 |
| #5 | Gruni | 41% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sry im stoned | 45% | 74 |
| #4 | Punkattack1312 | 42% | 105 |
| #5 | Gruni | 41% | 110 |
| #6 | Immortalstar | 37% | 94 |
| #7 | WalterSchwarz | 35% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Immortalstar | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Gruni | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Punkattack1312 | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | JimDunkelBaum | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | sry im stoned | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimDunkelBaum | 329 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Punkattack1312 | 252 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gruni | 128 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Immortalstar | 111 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ätzend | 99 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimDunkelBaum | +2.89 | 62 | 60 |
| #2 | El Pollo Loco | +1.06 | 68 | 52 |
| #3 | WalterSchwarz | +0.98 | 45 | 54 |
| #4 | Ätzend | -0.64 | 62 | 52 |
| #5 | Immortalstar | -0.70 | 18 | 54 |





