








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6473 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4465 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4976 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3239 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,262 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivolution | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Blaxzter ✩ | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | oni | 59% | 69 |
| #4 | MrEndlichdabei | 55% | 109 |
| #5 | saiboT | 51% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winter Xem | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | MrEndlichdabei | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | saiboT | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | oni | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Blaxzter ✩ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winter Xem | 511 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | JaayDee96 | 428 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | saiboT | 239 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | MrEndlichdabei | 211 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | reLaXe アレックス | 158 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winter Xem | +0.53 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | MrEndlichdabei | +0.46 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | Tobsen | +0.43 | 54 | 73 |
| #4 | JaayDee96 | +0.05 | 59 | 73 |
| #5 | saiboT | -0.25 | 47 | 63 |





