








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 232 | 21% |
| Smokes | 355 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 304 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 189 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,661 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yujiro Hanma | 8 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | Palacio Péter | 8 | 0.0217 |
| #3 | Csucsu<3? | 3 | 0.0306 |
| #4 | Agency Influence | 2 | 0.0200 |
| #5 | penészes pörkölt | 1 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yujiro Hanma | 27 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #2 | Csucsu<3? | 21 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #3 | Palacio Péter | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Agency Influence | 11 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | MenőSrác21 | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |





