








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1049 | 39% |
| Smokes | 570 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,896 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biskoi | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | fast | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Aistify | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Memorishi | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Fatigue | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biskoi | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | fast | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Aistify | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Memorishi | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Fatigue | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fast | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Memorishi | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Fatigue | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | biskoi | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fast | 273 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| #2 | Memorishi | 98 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fatigue | 87 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | biskoi | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Aistify | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatigue | +1.35 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | Yeshou | +0.09 | 43 | 60 |
| #3 | fast | -0.36 | 48 | 67 |
| #4 | Memorishi | -0.62 | 39 | 51 |
| #5 | biskoi | -3.21 | 33 | 60 |





