








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3717 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3755 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2867 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3621 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,969 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ichi- | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | hoppla | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | razwell | 56% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ichi- | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | hoppla | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | razwell | 56% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | razwell | 14 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ichi- | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | hoppla | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | razwell | 266 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ichi- | 198 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | hoppla | 135 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ichi- | +2.21 | 93 | 63 |
| #2 | razwell | +1.36 | 86 | 49 |
| #3 | 3xo6e | +0.46 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | hoppla | +0.05 | 58 | 66 |





