








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1907 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1826 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1683 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,461 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GdL**Menace | 53% | 95 |
| #2 | badidou | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Khaltek | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | BHMX | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | Markelele | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | badidou | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Khaltek | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | BHMX | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | Markelele | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | Fury ♿ | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GdL**Menace | 14 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | badidou | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Fury ♿ | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Markelele | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | BHMX | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GdL**Menace | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | badidou | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Khaltek | 46 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | BHMX | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fury ♿ | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GdL**Menace | +1.92 | 64 | 50 |
| #2 | BHMX | +0.86 | 70 | 61 |
| #3 | badidou | +0.35 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | Markelele | +0.34 | 55 | 68 |
| #5 | Le BeC | -0.51 | 33 | 67 |





