








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2477 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1930 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1834 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1346 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $973,836 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FOUR BURNER BIG BOI | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | Shamone | 54% | 140 |
| #3 | 30hz 60" plasma tv user | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Wiggle | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Spork | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Shamone | 54% | 140 |
| #3 | 30hz 60" plasma tv user | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Wiggle | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Spork | 48% | 44 |
| #6 | Big Red Giant | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shamone | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Wiggle | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | FOUR BURNER BIG BOI | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Spork | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Big Red Giant | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shamone | 258 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Wiggle | 113 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | FOUR BURNER BIG BOI | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Spork | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Big Red Giant | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JayKay 3220 | +2.77 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | Shamone | +0.66 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | 30hz 60" plasma tv user | +0.12 | 57 | 53 |
| #4 | Wiggle | -0.74 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | Spork | -1.81 | 56 | 60 |





